For years I told myself that I would never change. I didn’t want to. I loved the person I was and the people I surrounded myself with. But now that I’m in the middle of the biggest transition of my life, I have realized that without me even trying, I am completely different than the person I used to be. When I realized this, I wasn’t sure if I was happy with it or not. I began to dig deep and ask myself where this change came from. And I came to the obvious conclusion that no matter what a person does, who they are now will not be who they are in ‘x’ amount of years.
I looked around myself and saw the change in others. Goodie-goods turned to pot-smokers, and partiers turned to followers of God. Seriously I’ve seen some of the most drastic changes from the most unsuspecting people. Of course, these changes are voluntary; People decide they want to turn their life in a different direction. This happens usually after some traumatic or impactful life event, however, it doesn’t happen too often. People are lazy and stubborn and are very unlikely to knowingly change their lifestyle, even if they experience something worthy of changing their life.
So then I looked at myself, I mean really looked at myself. My life hasn’t changed dramatically from four years ago. I didn’t wake up and decide to find a new path to walk one day. But very gradually, everything changed. The people that I have trusted with my friendship with have changed, and so has the way I go about considering someone new to be my friend. I’m open to new things, but very specific with my expectations. I feel more independent as each day goes by, as I get closer to moving out of my home. I genuinely don’t care too much about people’s feelings or opinions anymore unless they are a good friend. Then I finally understood.
We don’t change ourselves, time changes us. Time is inevitable, and so is the change that it forces us to undergo. It can not be avoided, no matter how hard you try. Every single one of your past experiences will have an effect on every decision you make, friendship you form, place you go, dream you pursue, etc.. I am in the middle of one of the biggest changes I’ll ever go through in my entire life. Everything feels like a new experience and it has had an enormous result on the way I think. Adjusting to college life is going to be like changing my writing style. But I’m not afraid of it. I’m more than ready.
I’m ready for all the change I can handle.